


Love From a Hopeless Place

by AshidentsHappen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 21:51:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 6,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10862805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshidentsHappen/pseuds/AshidentsHappen
Summary: Supernatural high school/YouTube AU. In this universe, there's no hunting and Adam is a) a Winchester, b) full-brother, not half, and c) is Sam's fraternal twin brother.WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND SELF-HARM





	1. Chapter 1

2008

“You’re kidding. No! No, no. I- I didn’t mean it like- Yes. I- I know this isn’t so- Shit I understand but- God. I’m so sorry, Castiel. I- I’ll tell him. Bye.” Dean hung up his phone and threw it. He cursed loudly before taking a deep breath. “How am I gonna tell him?” Dean asked himself. He let a few tears fall before looking up at the clock on the wall. Pulling himself together as best he could, Dean grabbed his keys and left work to pick up Sam and Adam.

As Dean was driving to the soccer field, he dreaded having to break the news to Sam. He was afraid of watching his bright, amber-green eyes fade into a cold, dull swamp. They all had been through so much already.

“Hey, Dean!” the twins cheered.

“Hey guys,” he responded, hoping his fake enthusiasm was working. “How was the game? Sorry I couldn’t make it.”

“It’s okay,” Sam assured.

“I scored a goal!” Adam added. “We still lost, but I still scored!”

“That’s great!” Dean led the two to the car and drove silently, not that the two chatterboxes noticed.

When they pulled into their driveway, Adam and Sam rushed out of the back.

“Hey Adam! Come here a sec?”

“What’s up, Dean?”

“Can you take a walk or something?” Dean pulled out a couple dollars from his wallet. “Go hang out at a Starbucks or something for a few hours, please?”

“Okay,” Adam replied, skeptically taking the money. “Why?”

Dean exhaled slowly. “I have to tell Sam something.”

“Tell him what?”

“Gabriel’s dead.” Dean immediately turned around and headed into the house.

Adam stood glued to his spot. He thought he was dreaming. His daze was broken by the distinct sound of sobs coming from his house. Adam turned around and ran down the street.

“I know, I know. Shh shh shh shh shh. Okay, okay.” Dean was holding Sam to his chest and rocking back and forth. They were on the floor of Sam and Adam’s room.

Sam let out a broken sob. “H- how?” he shakily asked.

“Car accident,” Dean solemnly replied, stroking Sam’s head.

The two stayed like that until Adam returned. He stood in the doorway, his eyes red and puffy, nose still runny.

“Adam,” Dean croaked before clearing his throat. “Adam you can sleep in my room tonight.”

Adam knew that Dean was telling him, not making an offer, and quickly nodded.

“Sammy? Can you stand?” Dean asked carefully.

Sam nodded, taking the hand Dean offered.

“Okay. Why don’t you shower? I’ll make some dinner.”

“ ’m not hungry.”

Dean looked back sadly at Sam. “I know, but I’m gonna force you to eat anyway. Go shower,” Dean gently pleaded once again.

Sam sat on the floor of the tub and turned the water on, not bothering to take his clothes off.

“Hey, Adam. How you holding up?” Dean asked, pulling his other brother into a hug.

“Better than he is,” came the muffled response.

“I’m sorry about this. About all of this.”

“It’s not your fault. And it’s worse for Sam.”

“I know, but you and Gabriel were friends, right?”

Adam smiled softly and sadly. “Yeah.”

Dean nodded and opened the pantry to take out a can of soup. “You know I love you both, right?”

“Dean, I know you’re gonna be paying more attention to Sam now. It’s okay.”

Dean smiled fondly back at his brother. “When’d you get so mature?”

Adam shrugged and sat at the counter.

“The soup’s almost ready, can you go get Sam?”

“Sure,” Adam said, scooting off his chair and padding upstairs.

“Sam?” Adam asked, knocking softly on the bathroom door. “Sam, dinner’s ready. You coming out soon?” Adam heard sniffling and decided to try the door. It was unlocked. “Sam,” Adam pitifully whispered. “Come here,” he offered, turning off the water.

Sam stood up and got out of the tub.

“I’ll be right back,” Adam said softly.

Sam stood in front of the bath tub dripping and shivering slightly.

“Here.” Adam gave Sam a towel and some dry pajamas.

Sam stood, now wrapped in the towel, not moving.

“Hey, come on.” Adam gingerly dried off his brother and peeled off his soaking clothes.

“Thank you,” Sam barely audibly mumbled.

Adam smiled as warmly as he could. “Come on, Dean made soup.”

Adam went to bed immediately after finishing his soup. Dean spent the rest of the evening watching Sam finish his dinner.

When Dean was satisfied with what Sam ate, he guided him up to bed.

“Night, Sammy.”

“Night, Dean”

Dean climbed into Adam’s bed and watched Sam toss and turn.


	2. Chapter 2

At three in the morning, Dean became aware that Sam was crying. He quietly got up and sat on the edge of Sam’s bed.

“Sorry. Did I wake you?”

“No, Sammy,” Dean lied. “Look, I don’t know how to help you- I- I can’t imagine what this is like, but I’m here for you, okay?”

Sam thanked Dean and tried to go back to his fitful sleep.

Adam woke up at 7:30 to get ready for school. When he went to the bathroom he peaked into his and Sam’s room and saw that Dean was awake.

“I can drive you to school and pick you up, but I’m gonna stay back with Sam.”

Adam nodded and carried on getting ready.

“Hey, Sammy,” Dean whispered, softly prodding his brother. “I’m gonna take Adam to school. I’ll be back in a little bit, okay? You just sleep.” Dean leaned down and kissed his baby brother’s temple before stepping out and closing the door.

When Adam got out of the car he saw Castiel.

“Hi, Castiel,” Adam greeted.

Castiel didn’t respond.

Dean saw Castiel’s state and parked his car. “CASTIEL!” he called.

Castiel turned around.

Dean ran up to him. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to go to school, Dean. Just because my world ended doesn’t mean the rest of the existence got the memo.”

“No, you’re not doing this today.” Dean grabbed Castiel’s hand and dragged him to the Impala.

“Doing what?” Castiel asked, not much caring about the answer or where Dean planned to take him.

“School.” Dean opened the passenger side door and helped Castiel in. Once in his own seat, he continued. “I’m taking you back to my house.”

“Dean, my mother—”

“I’ll call her and tell her I took you home.”

Castiel was exhausted and decided not to argue anymore, opting instead to lean his head against the window.

“Sam, I’m home!” Dean called.

Castiel’s stomach dropped. “Dean I don’t think I should be here.”

Dean quickly grabbed Castiel’s arm. “No, it’s okay.”

Castiel swallowed hard. “Sam’s still home?”

Dean nodded, shedding his leather jacket and hanging it on the coat rack. “Yeah, he didn’t wake up when the alarm went off so I decided it’s okay for him to stay home. Sit down.” Dean gestured to the sofa.

Castiel put his hands up in response, declining the offer.

“Okay. Um there are beds upstairs if you wanna lie down or go back to sleep.”

Castiel nodded appreciatively, following Dean to his bedroom.

“You can sleep in here. I’ll be in the room at the end of the hall if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

“Anytime, Cas.”

Dean walked back into Sam’s room. When he saw that Sam was still sleeping, Dean decided to make some food for everyone.

As Dean was downstairs cooking, Castiel got up and went to the room Dean told him he’d be in. “Dean I wa—” Castiel cut himself off when he saw Sam roll over.

“Castiel?”

“H- hi Sam,” he stammered.

“Where’s Dean?”

“I don’t know. I was looking for him.” Castiel shuffled in the doorway for a few more moments before excusing himself.

“No wait,” Sam called. “Can you stay with me?”

Castiel wanted to say no, but the longer he looked at Sam, the smaller he looked. Castiel had never considered how young Sam really was.

“Please?”

Castiel nodded, sitting at the edge of Adam’s bed.

Dean brought up three plates of scrambled eggs minutes later and the three ate in silence.

Dean drove Castiel home before picking Adam up from school.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day Dean went to school with Adam.

“You sure you’ll be okay?” Dean asked Sam.

“Yes,” he lied.

“Okay. Call me if you need me, or anything, okay? I’ll have my cell all day. Don’t hesitate, okay?”

Sam nodded, rolling back over and burying himself in the covers. He remained like that until around two in the afternoon.

Sam mustered enough strength to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. As he brushed his teeth he caught his reflection in the mirror. He saw a hickey Gabriel had left the Saturday before his game. The last night they spent together. The last time he saw Gabriel. Sam began crying and threw his toothbrush into the sink. Dry-heaving and sobbing, Sam managed to open the medicine cabinet and grab Adam’s insomnia medication.

Back in his room, Sam uncapped the medication and downed the rest of the bottle with the water Dean had left him. Reaching past the sandwich on his nightstand, Sam grabbed a pair of scissors and began making long cuts down his forearm. They started as light scratches but progressively got deeper. Sam could see blood eeking out of the wounds but he didn’t care. He hated how it stung but he didn’t care to stop. 

Sam started to feel sleepy and lightheaded. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back, hitting the backboard of his bed. His right arm dangled off the edge of the bed, dropping the scissors, his left still clutching the empty bottle.

“Sam?” Adam called. “We’re home!” Adam trudged up the stairs and knocked on the room’s door. “Sam? Sam I’m gonna come in now.” Adam slowly opened the door. “DEAN! DEEEAN!”

Sam was unconscious on his bed, his left arm bleeding profusely and vaguely holding on to the prescription bottle.

“What?? What’s wr—” Dean froze when he saw his baby brother. “Adam call an ambulance!”

Adam nodded, rushing for his phone.

“Oh God, Sammy come on. Wake up for me, wake up! Please, Sam! PLEASE!” Dean gave up on shouting and ripped off his flannel shirt, wrapping it around Sam’s bloody arm.


	4. Chapter 4

“WE’RE LOSING HIM!” a nurse shouted as she pounded on Sam’s chest. “Come on baby, pull through. Pull through!”

“We got a pulse!” another nurse cried.

Adam sat frantic in the emergency room waiting area, Dean pacing. Every bang of a door and every boom of a voice made them snap to attention.

An hour later a doctor came out.

“Sam Winchester?” she asked.

Dean walked over, Adam scampering behind.

“He’s stable but asleep. He lost a lot of blood and those pills didn’t do him any good either.”

“When will he wake up?” Adam asked hopefully.

The doctor sighed. “That we don’t know, son.”

Adam stared hard at the ground, using what little strength he had left not to cry.

“Can we see him?” Dean asked.

The doctor nodded, leading the two down a few halls.

“You’re his legal guardian, yes?” the doctor asked once Adam was out of earshot.

“Yeah.”

“Can I, uh, have a word?” The doctor took a few steps out of the room before continuing. “Sam is in a coma. We don’t know when or even if he’s gonna wake up.”

Dean stood in silence, tears crawling down his face.

“I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that you have a decision to make, but do take all the time you need.” With that, the doctor walked briskly away.

Dean wiped his tears and sighed, shaking his head. “Okay, keep it together. Pull it together. Adam can’t know. Okay. Okay.” Dean took a sharp breath and walked in.

Adam was sitting in a chair right next to Sam’s bed. He was holding his brother’s hand and crying. Only then did Dean realize just how close the twins really were.

Dean cleared his throat.

Adam snapped to attention. “What’d the doctor want?”

“Just insurance information,” he fibbed. Dean moved to stand behind Adam and put his hand on his little brother’s shoulder. “He’s gonna be okay,” Dean whispered, mostly as confirmation to himself.

Adam nodded as he sniffled. “Yeah. He’s tough. Really tough.”

Dean eventually pulled up a chair on Sam’s other side.

“You know when Dad came back from Topeka and caught Ruby staying over?”

Dean grimaced at the memory.

“Sam covered for me. He said she was his girlfriend. He took a good beating for that.”

Dean raised his eyebrows in amazement. “I didn’t know that.”

Adam nodded. “He’s always been good at hiding his pain.”

Adam and Dean stayed the night with Sam.


	5. Chapter 5

When Dean woke up he saw two texts, one from Castiel and one from Bobby.

Castiel Novak: Gabe’s funeral is this Friday. You, Adam, and of course, Sam are invited. 6pm. White Chapel Cemetery.

Dean shakily responded. 

Dean: We can’t make it. Sorry.

Moments later Castiel replied.

Castiel Novak: Not even Sam?

Dean: Especially not Sammy.

Castiel Novak: Why not?

Castiel was getting angry. How could Dean just blow Gabriel’s funeral off so easily? His brother was madly in love, surely he’d want to say goodbye.

Dean was hesitant to answer. In the end, he went with the truth.

Dean: Sammy’s in a coma. He tried to kill himself.

Receiving no response from Castiel, Dean decided to check Bobby’s text.

“Crap,” he muttered.

“What?” Adam asked sleepily.

“Nothing, nothing. Bobby just want’s me to call him, that’s all.” Dean was about to phone Bobby when he looked at his watch. “You don’t have to say yes, but do you want to go to school today? You have enough time to go home and grab your stuff. I know you hate missing.”

Adam shuffled in his seat. “Am I a bad brother if I leave him?”

“No, no you’re not.”

“Okay. Then, can you take me?”

“Sure thing, kiddo.”

Once Adam was at school Dean called Bobby.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, hi.”

“Boy where the hell’ve you been?”

“Dealing with personal crap, Robert.”

“Don’t you back talk me.”

“Sorry, sir.” Dean genuinely respected Bobby, he just wasn’t in the mood for explaining his family’s situation again.

“It’s okay. So I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, uh, Dean I gotta fire ya.”

“What??”

“I’m sorry boy but you haven’t been here since Sunday and even then you left early.”

With as much dignity as he could muster, Dean began to plead for his job. “Please, Bobby. I need to work at the autoshop. It’s just been real rough this past week and—”

“I’m sorry but business is business. I gotta go now. You take care.”

“Bastard!” Dean shouted into the dead line. Dean walked up and down the hall in front of Sam’s room before walking back in and sitting next to him.

“What the hell are we gonna do, Sammy?” Dean felt himself start to cry. “I’m scared, Sammy. I’m really really scared. I don’t know what we’re gonna do. I- I don’t have a job and medical bills are really damn expensive.” A sudden wave of reality hit Dean, causing him to cry harder. “What if they take you and Adam away?” Dean whispered brokenly.

Dean sat and cried for an hour more until his eyes burned, until his nose was raw, until his throat was dry and useless. Then, he formulated a plan.

The next morning, Thursday, came. Adam decided that he could miss that day since he had nothing important due.

At nine that morning Dean told Adam that he was going out and that he’d be back in an hour or so and drove straight to the school.

“Ah, Mr. Winchester!” the admissions lady Donna chirped. “So good to see you! If you hurry you can catch a good chunk of second period!”

“Actually ma’am I’m here to inquire about dropping out.”

Donna almost spit out her coffee. “Dropping out?? But why?”

“That’s something I’d rather explain to Mr. Shurley. Is he in today?”

Donna quickly phoned the school’s guidance counselor, Chuck Shurley.

“You can see him right now deary.”

“Thanks.” Dean walked down the hall and knocked on Chuck’s door.

“Hey there, Dean! What brings you here?”

“Sir I’d like to dropout.”

Chuck let out an awkward laugh. “You mean you wanna transfer? Sure! There are lots of—”

“No sir. I mean dropout.”

Chuck adjusted his tie. “Uh, well now Dean. That- that’s a big decision. You sure you don’t wanna think—”

“Please don’t try to convince me otherwise. I know this isn’t ideal but I have to do this.”

“Uh, if you don’t mind, why?”

Dean inhaled slowly before telling the rosiest possible version of his life’s story to the guidance counselor.

“Wow. Dean I have to say that is a really adult thing for you to do. But don’t you think you could just, take a leave of absence and come back later?”

“No can do. I need to get a salary job sir and I need one now. For that I need a diploma.”

Chuck looked at Dean and nodded firmly. “Well, you’re an adult so I can’t very well tell you no.” Chuck stood up and reached for his back pocket before shaking Dean’s hand. “Good luck son.”

“Thank you sir.” As Dean took the man’s hand he felt the crinkle of paper in his palm.

“GED test costs about 50 or 60,” Chuck said, retreating into an attachment to his office.

Dean opened his hand and saw 60 dollars. “Thank you!” Dean called out. “Thank you,” he whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

Adam and Dean found a rhythm in their hectic lives. Dean would drop Adam at school every morning and go job hunting until school ended. Then, the two would spend the evening with Sam. Every night, after saying goodnight to Adam, Dean closed himself in his room and set up an old camcorder and pull out his guitar. Dean recorded and uploaded a song to YouTube nearly every day. He hoped that he’d gain a small following, one big enough to get him ads and hopefully then some money.

One day, Dean decided to do something a bit different. After dropping Adam off at school, Dean went to the hospital, guitar and camcorder in hand.

“Would it be alright if I played and sang for my brother? I’ll be soft, promise.”

The nurse smiled sweetly at Dean. “Sure honey, but if you get a noise complaint you best stop darlin.”

Dean chuckled. “Alright.”

“Hey guys, Dean here. Uh today I’ll be playing my brother’s favorite song. Our mom used to sing it to us as we fell asleep. See if you can guess it.” Dean cleared his throat and closed his eyes as he strummed the intro.

“Hey Jude,” he sang, “don’t make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better.

“Na na na na na, na na na, hey Jude...”

Dean opened his eyes when he heard clapping.

“You’re very good,” Castiel said.

“Cas?” Dean asked in shock. “Wh- what are you doing here?” 

“I came to give Sam this.” Castiel held up a silver chain with a small pendant on it, ‘My lollipop’ engraved on it. “Gabe got it for him. We found it with some of his stuff.”

Dean’s eyes began to well up. “Thanks. H- he’ll love it.” He took the necklace from Castiel and admired it for a bit more before realizing it was Wednesday. “What are you doing here?”

“I skipped school.”

Dean raised his eyebrows at Castiel.

“Mom let me. I’m getting a tattoo today.”

Dean nodded with approval. “Of?”

Castiel smiled. “I’m getting Gabriel’s name on my upper arm with golden wings on either side. I have a sketch here.” Castiel pulled a notebook out of his bag. “See?”

“You drew this?”

Castiel nodded.

“It’s incredible.”

“Thanks.”

Castiel let a silence occur before speaking again.

“I’m sorry it took so long for me to visit. I just hadn’t worked up the courage.”

“It’s okay, Cas, really. Wait. Courage?”

Castiel nodded. “It’s my fault Gabe’s dead,” Castiel said, tears brimming.

“Don’t say that,” Dean urged.

“But it is! I told Gabe to get out of the house because he was pissing me off. I told him to make himself useful and get me some art supplies from the store.” Castiel felt the hot tears fall down his face. “It’s my fault your brother’s like this.”

Dean walked over to Castiel and gingerly lifted his chin. “You listen to me, Castiel Novak. None of this is your fault. None of it, you hear me? Absolutely no one blames you for any of this, okay? Please, don’t do this to yourself.”

“What?”

“Hurt yourself.”

“Having someone to blame makes it better.”

“Really?” Dean asked, grabbing Castiel’s hand and lifting his arm up. “This is better?”

Both boys were now looking at Castiel’s arm. It was littered with thin scars and a few red lines.

“Cas, forgive yourself.” Dean leaned in close to Castiel, hovering an inch from his face before closing the gap and sweetly kissing the boy. “Please.”

Castiel backed away from Dean, but not in a frightened manner, no. More of a shocked an excited manner. “H- how did you know I like...”

Dean smirked. “I didn’t. I took a chance.”

Castiel was about to respond when they heard groaning and stirring.

The two snapped their heads to Sam’s direction. Again, Sam moved a little and made indistinguishable noises.

“NURSE!” Dean shouted, running out of the room and down the hall. “NURSE!”

Dean returned a minute later with a team of nurses and Sam’s doctor.

“Well I sure don’t know what did it, but looks like Sam should be awake within 24 hours. Maybe even the next 12.” The doctor smiled at Castiel and Dean before excusing herself.

Dean looked back at Castiel and smiled giddily. “I think maybe you should come by more often. You really are a Godsend, angel.”

“Dean Winchester,” Castiel said seriously. “How can you look so dorky, yet speak with such a seductive voice?”

Both of them laughed.

“Well, will you come by tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Castiel was about to leave when he felt Dean grab his shoulder.

“Until tomorrow,” he whispered, kissing his angel gently.

“Until tomorrow,” Castiel replied, blushing madly.


	7. Chapter 7

2013

“Hey guys! Dean here!” Dean said into the camera. "Thanks for joining me today. As requested by many of you on twitter, I'll be doing another Q&A." Dean pulled out his phone. "Okay. Let's get started!"

Castiel smiled to himself from the doorway. He liked watching Dean make videos. He had to admit, his husband was funny.

"And, yeah. So that's how I got that little scar on my chin."

Castiel laughed, drawing Dean's attention.

"Hey, Cas. Wanna be in the video?"

Castiel shook his head. "I'm not ready, Dean."

Dean smiled and nodded. "Okay, fine by me." Dean stood up and turned off the camera before walking over to Castiel.

"Mmm but don't you have to finish filming?" he asked though heated kisses.

"Later," Dean whispered. "Right now there's something, I mean, someone else I want to do." Dean flicked his eyebrows up as Castiel and licked his bottom lip.

“Mmm, Dean,” Castiel said, more sternly than Dean was hoping, “I came in here to tell you that you need to pack!”

“Ugh angel why?” Dean asked like a petulant child.

“Because, my demon, we need to be at the airport in six hours and I really don’t want to miss my Florida vacation because someone was too lazy to pack!”

“Humph.” Dean crossed his arms and pouted at Castiel.

Castiel turned to leave the room. “Just so you know,” he baited. “The sooner you finish packing the sooner you can do that someth- I mean, someone.”

“Duly noted,” Dean said as he frantically ran through the house gathering his supplies.

Dean had been cast in a movie by a small production company. While it wasn’t a glamorous Hollywood film, he will be getting paid pretty handsomely, which is more than Dean ever hoped to get out of YouTube.

Six hours later and the happy couple was running frantically through the airport.

“Dean!” Castiel called.

“We’re almost there babe I promise!”

“Dean!”

“It’s right at the end of this—”

“DEAN!”

“What??”

“Look at the flight board.”

“What about it?”

“We’re in gate 36 now, which is right here,” Castiel pointed to his left. “And we’re delayed two hours.”

“Oh.” Dean felt the heat rising to his face. “Well then. I guess I’ll just, uh, sit here.”

“Good plan,” Castiel responded in a light sarcastic tone.

20 minutes into the wait and Dean was getting impatient.

“Why does this take so long?” he whined.

“Because sometimes the weather doesn’t cooperate,” Castiel replied, not looking up from his sketchbook.

“Mmm, fix it!”

Castiel closed his pencil in his book and looked at Dean. “And how do you suggest I do that?”

“You’re an angel. Use your magic!”

“If only I could, my demon. If only I could.”

“Really you should be the most powerful angel of them all!”

Castiel laughed. He loved Dean more than anything in the world, but he especially loved bored and excited Dean. “Mmm? Why’s that?”

“Because you have so many pairs of wings!”

Castiel had gotten many more tattoos. In addition to “Gabriel” with his golden wings, Castiel got “Sam” with red wings below Gabriel’s tattoo, “Adam” with white wings on his other arm, “Dean” surrounded by a puff of black smoke on his left hip, and a full pair of molting black wings all across his back.

“Well, unfortunately, that is not how angel wings work.” Castiel was about to go back to his drawing when Dean began to pout again. “Okay, how about this. Do a livestream or something.”

Dean perked up. “That’s an amazing idea.” Dean kissed Castiel’s cheek before adding, “It would be even more amazing if you joined me.”

Castiel shook his head as he chuckled. “No, Dean. Not yet.”

“Okay. Um I guess I’ll just sit two seats down then.” Dean took out his laptop and opened YouTube.

“Hey guys! Dean here. So my flight to Florida’s been delayed and I’m bored out of my mind right now! So I figured what better than to hang you with you guys? So the chat is open. Ask your questions!” Dean scrolled through the chat and picked out some questions.

“How did I start YouTube? Uh when I was 18 I needed money. Badly. There were crazy things happening in my life so I looked for a job and made YouTube videos. Now, here I am!

“Let’s see. Uh, oh! ‘Do you have a real job?’ Yeah. I’m a mechanic. I’ve always loved cars and I’m pretty handy so yeah.”

Dean answered questions and told stories until it was time to board.


	8. Chapter 8

“Finally!” Castiel cried. “We’re here!”

“Yep and hotel shuttles are that way,” Dean said, redirecting Castiel.

“But baggage claim—”

“Is also that way. Let’s go, sleepy head.”

Castiel nodded and followed Dean around the airport.

When the two got to the hotel Dean went to check them in.

“Hi, room for Dean Winchester?”

“Oh, sorry, but we don’t have any reservations under that name.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Sorry, that was stupid.” Dean gave the name of the film company, hitting his forehead with the heel of his palm.

“Ahh I see. And you want the room reserved for ‘Winchester?’”

“Yep, that’s right.”

“Perfect! Sign here please.”

As Dean filled out his contact information, he saw a girl behind the front desk looking rapidly between her screen and Dean.

The lady assisting Dean noticed. “Oh that’s Lisa. She’s—”

“A huge fan!” Lisa interjected. “It is so exciting to meet you, Dean!”

Dean laughed. “Well it’s nice to meet you too.”

“Can you sign my phone case?”

Dean gladly did before accepting his room key and taking Castiel’s hand.

Once the two were out of earshot, Lisa turned to the lady who was helping Dean. “Becky! I think that was his husband!”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Becky replied dully.

“Fuck you, Watson! Don’t you get it?”

“Get what?”

“He’s married!”

“And?”

“UGH! He never talks about his love life. Ever!”

“Congratulations. You now know that a YouTuber is married. Woo.”

Lisa rolled her eyes and pouted.

When Castiel and Dean made it to their room, Castiel instantly flopped onto the bed.

“Mmmm soooooooooooft.”

Dean chuckled as he picked up the note left on the desk.

'Hope you like the room. I put it up high so the paparazzi and fans can’t get you. I’ve already spoken to your agent. Call me at the number below or come to room 508 when convenient.

Gabriel Novak'

Dean dropped the note and clutched the table, banging against it with his knee.

“You alright, baby?”

Dean shook his head. Then, realizing Castiel couldn’t see that, verbally responded. “Gabriel.”

“What?”

“Gabriel. Gabriel Novak.”

“Why are you talking about my brother?”

Dean bent over and picked up the note. “Signed. Gabriel. Novak.”

Castiel quickly read the note and suddenly forgot about being tired. He charged out of the room and down the hall to Gabriel’s room, Dean close behind.


	9. Chapter 9

Gabriel was relaxing in his room, thinking about how funny the universe is. Gabriel was directing the movie that Dean was filming in Florida. Gabriel also happened to have dated Dean’s younger brother, Sam.

“Wonder if Dean remembers me,” Gabriel pondered out loud. “I did ‘die’ like five years ago. He probably forgot all about me. Sam too.” Gabriel sighed wistfully. “God I miss Sam.”

There was an aggressive knock at Gabriel’s door.

“Gabriel, open up!” demanded a deep voice.

“Huh. Who could that be? Dean’s the only guy here this week and that voice is way too deep to be his. Oh no. Oh no, what if he has a really protective husband? Shit. Didn’t think this through. Shit what do I—”

“Gabriel!” the voice shouted again.

“Well guess I’ll find out.” Gabriel stood up tall and answered the door.

“You call—” Gabriel was taken aback by the figure before him.

No. It can’t be, he thought. “C- Cassie?”

All of Castiel’s anger dissolved when he heard his brother speak. All he could do was nod.

The brothers embraced each other and cried.

Upon seeing Gabriel’s face, Dean raced back to his and Castiel’s room.

“Oh God. Oh God oh God oh god,” Castiel whispered. “You died. You drove off and you died. I sent you to the store and some policemen came by and said—” Castiel choked back a sob.

“I know, I know. I’m so sorry. But I needed a fresh start and that was the only thing I could think of. I’m so sorry.”

The two cried some more before taking a few breaths and catching up.

“So how’ve you been?” Gabriel asked, wiping the last of his tears away.

“It was hard at first,” Castiel admitted. “I- I was so lost I—” He rolled up his sleeve, revealing a series of thin, pale scars. “Sam- he tried to- to end it. He- he was so far gone. He got so close.” Castiel took a slow breath. “He had to be hospitalized.” Castiel whimpered a little when he said that.

Gabriel lowered his head and took a few shallow breaths. “He- he tried to k- kill—” Gabriel began to hyperventilate.

“Hey hey hey, Gabe. Look at me okay? Shh breathe, breeeeathe,” Castiel coaxed.

Once Gabriel was breathing normally again, Castiel went back to his room to get Dean.

“I know, Sam. I- yes I know how much a ticket to Florida costs. S- Sa- Sammy I- I’ll- I WILL REIMBURSE YOU. OKAY? Just get your ass down here, now!” Dean hung up and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I think all three of us need to talk like grownups.”

Dean agreed, following Castiel.


	10. Chapter 10

Sam landed in Florida the next morning. He caught a shuttle to the hotel Dean told him about and asked for Dean Winchester’s room.

“Ah so you’re the brother he said was coming.”

“Yeah. Do you by chance know what this is about?”

Becky shook her head. “Nope. Sorry. He just said someone named Sam Winchester was gonna be here and to send him up. And honestly I’m not mad about that.”

Sam awkwardly thanked Becky and went up to Dean’s room.

“So,” Becky began, turning to Lisa. “That YouTuber? Winchester? He’s got a hot brother!”

“Which one?”

“There’s more??”

“Uh he’s got two. Sam and Allen. I think...”

“Mmm well that Sam one is so mine!”

Sam got out of the elevator and knocked on room 502’s door.

Castiel answered. “Hey, Sam.”

“Hey, Cas. So why am I here?”

Castiel shuffled his feet. “How about you come inside?”

“Okay...” Sam skeptically followed Castiel into the room. “Hey, Dean”

“Hey, Sammy.”

“Um, Dean,” Castiel prodded. “Why don’t you tell Sam why he’s here?”

“He’s on his way,” Dean muttered.

“Guys, really. What’s this about? Why did you practically force me to come all the way to Flo—” Sam was interrupted by knocking. “I’ll get it,” Sam offered.

“NO!” Castiel shouted. “I- I don’t think that’s a good idea...”

“Yeah, Sammy. Sit down.”

Sam looked annoyed at the two before obeying.

Castiel opened the door but Sam couldn’t see who it was from where he was sitting.

“Who is it?” Sam pestered.

“Hiya, lollipop,” came the reply.

As Gabriel looked at his love, a sadness began to squeeze him. He saw how brittle Sam’s once luscious hair was. He saw the bags under his eyes and how ill-ly fitted his flannel was. Gabriel realized that he was looking at a mere shadow, an outline, of his precious Sam.

Sam froze. He shut his eyes. “No. No no no. No one, and I mean no one is allowed to call me that. No one except—”

“Except me. Sam, sweets, it’s me. I promise. I- I’m right here. Please open your eyes.”

Sam slowly opened them, getting an eyeful of Gabriel’s apprehensive face. “This is it,” Sam stated plainly. “I died. I don’t remember dying, but I guess I died. This is my apparently my personal Heaven. Maybe I died on my way to Florida. Who knows! All I know is that I—”

Gabriel cut Sam off with a long kiss.

“Okay I am not dead I most certainly am not dead because that felt really, really real.” Sam teared up and pulled Gabriel in.

“Oh sugar I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. I didn’t think it would hurt you so badly—”

“You didn’t think it would- Gabriel! You were- a- are! The love of my life! How could you possibly think that you dying wasn’t doing to do anything?”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Shut up,” Sam replied, pulling Gabriel back in and burying his face into the crook of his love’s neck.

“We’ll just give you two a moment,” Dean said, ushering Castiel out and taking Gabriel’s room key.

Once the two stopped kissing they began asking and answering questions.

“I still wear it,” Sam confessed.

“‘It’?” Gabriel asked.

Sam revealed a silver chain and pendant from beneath his undershirt. “I put it on the day I woke up and never took it off.

“The day you woke up?” Gabriel’s brow furrowed. “W- what does that mean?”

Sam shook his head. “It’s nothing. I just didn’t leave the house for a few days.”

Gabriel looked sadly at Sam. “Lollipop, Cassie told me you were in the hospital.”

The color drained from Sam’s face. “H- how much do you know?” Sam looked away, fiddling with his necklace.

“I know you tried to kill yourself. Sam, look at me. Please tell me.”

Sam took a shuddering breath. “So how have you been?” he asked nervously. “What have you been up to?”

Gabriel sighed with dismay. Perhaps one day, he hoped, Sam would be strong enough to tell the whole story.

“So, when you said that I’m still the love of your life...”

“I- I did date a little, but nothing serious.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I almost got serious with this one guy, actually. Kevin Tran. Smart. We met my first year of college. But I kept thinking about you...”

“I’m so sor—”

“No, no. It- it’s not your fault. I just, I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“Well, I- I know it’s been a long while but, uh, i- if you want,” Gabriel took a big breath, “I- I’m currently single?”

Sam closed his eyes and smiled. “Yes, Gabriel. I will gladly be your boyfriend.”

“Yippie!” Gabriel cheered, jumping on Sam and engulfing him in a hug. “I’m so sorry for everything I did,” he whispered into Sam’s ear. “I can’t imagine what I put you through, but thank you for forgiving me.”


	11. Chapter 11

2017

Sam was woken up by his phone ringing.

“Mmm, Gabe. Gaaaaaaaaabe you need to move your arm.”

Gabriel moaned. “Noooooooo,” he protested.

“Gabe, I need to answer the phone.”

“Mmmmmm let it go to voicemail,” Gabriel insisted, wrapping himself tighter around his tree of a husband.

“Oh crap,” Sam whispered as the ringing stopped.

“What is it, sweets?”

“Dean was calling.”

“So?” Gabriel asked, giving up on snuggling and sitting up.

“Sooooo Dean gets worried if I don’t answer his calls. Adam too.” 

“Even when the call comes at the asscrack of dawn?”

Sam chuckled. “My family isn’t like yours.”

“Whaddaya mean?”

“We’re close, all three of us. We were all each other had.” Sam closed his eyes, thinking about his childhood.

The brothers’ mother died when Dean was five, the twins three. Adam and Sam still believe that she was killed in a hit and run accident, but Dean knows his father’s dark secret.

After their mom, Mary’s, death their dad, John, became more abusive, evolving from words to physical violence as well. The siblings felt lucky when John would come home drunk off his ass. At least then, they knew, he was too slow to land any punches.

John killed himself a few weeks after Dean’s 18th birthday, making Dean Adam and Sam’s guardian. Despite how awful John was to them, he did leave them a little money and the house they grew up in in his will, as well as his 1967 black Chevy Impala. Secretly, all three brothers were relieved when they heard John had hung himself at work.

“Hey, lollipop. Adam’s calling,” Gabriel cooed, holding Sam’s phone up.

“Mmm? Oh, thanks.” Sam cleared his throat. “What’s up, baby bro?”

“Really? Six minutes!”

“Mmhmm. Deal with it. So what’s up?”

“You tell me. Dean asked me to call you. Said you didn’t answer his call. You mad at him or something?”

“No, no. I was just... busy.”

“YEAH YOU WERE!” Gabriel shouted.

“Gabe!” Sam chastised.

“Sorry,” Gabriel said with an unapologetic shrug.

“Ugh. Thanks, Adam. I’ll call Dean.”

“Alright. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Sam hung up and turned to Gabriel. “Dude!” he said, playfully whacking his trickster.

“Oh come on. You know you love me.”

“Mmm you should hope so. Otherwise that’s going to make our marriage very awkward. Now hush. I have to call Dean.”

“Sammy!”

“Hey, Dean Sorry I was,” Sam shot a look at Gabriel, “sleeping. What’s up.”

“Today’s the day!” he cheered.

“What??”

“Today’s the day! It’s happening! It’s really happening! Oh God. I might be sick.”

“Okay, hey hey hey. Dean just breathe. You’re gonna be fine. No. Scratch that. You’re gonna be great.”

“But what if I’m not? What if I’m exactly like Dad?”

“You did fine with me and Adam,” Sam reassured. “This is basically kid number three for you really.”

“And four,” Dean corrected.

“Wait what?”

“Kids numbers three and four. We’re adopting two. Bryant and Reagan.”

“Who’s Reagan?”

“Bryant's big sister. It didn’t feel right to split them up.”

“How old are they?”

“Bryant is one and Reagan is five.”

“So she’s gonna remember things?” Sam asked apprehensively.

“Yeah. I’m scared, Sammy.”

“Every first time parent is. But remember, you have Cas, arguably one of the greatest husbands on the planet.”

“I’m right here!” Gabriel reminded.

“I said one of,” Sam whispered.

“Were you nervous?”

“Hell yeah. Gabe too.”

“Huh. Annalise seems fine...”

“Exactly! Look, Dean, you’re gonna be an amazing Dad, okay?”

Dean laughed. “Thanks, but Cas is Dad. I’m Papa.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Alright smartas- a cookie brother mine!” Sam censored himself quickly as his four-year-old waddle-ran in.

“Daddy! Daddy!” she cried, jumping at Sam.

“Hey there, cutie! Wanna say hi to uncle Dean?”

“Uh huh!”

Sam handed his daughter the phone.

“Hi uncle Dean! It’s Annalise!”

“Hi baby girl!” Dean chirped.

Annalise giggled. “Silly uncle Dean! You can’t call me that!”

“And why not?”

“Because you have your own baby girl!”

Dean laughed. “That’s right. That’s right.”

“Sugar plum how about we give Daddy the phone back now, okay?”

“Okay Abba.” Annalise handed Sam his phone as Gabriel grabbed Annalise and began tickling her.

“I have to go, Dean. Just breathe, okay? You and Cas are going to be fine. Fantastic even. And if you start to stress, just remember that this is nothing compare to birthing them.”

“Thanks,” Dean laughed. His brother always knew how to make him smile. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Dean hung up the phone and exhaled slowly.

“Dean, you ready?”

Dean closed his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go get our kids.”


End file.
